Awkwardly Confused

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Hanging Out..............with girls





Apparently, everything means something different when you grow up.

I have no idea why, so don't ask. It just does. 


(I also had no idea what to write for this intro, but that's all I got.)


Without further ado...
Her hair...it looks so weird...


Relating to to top, many normal activities take on different tones when one grows older. Simple activities such as biking, tennis, eating and hanging out are completely different. Biking and tennis are now sports...so is eating in America. And this is where I think I can say my two cents: hanging out.

Now you may have noticed that the title included with girls. Why? Simply because of the following:


Hanging out with guys hasn't changed at all.

Save for the fact that maybe the activities have changed like gaming, or eating. We now game on different things and eat different foods lol. Basically a typical sceneario with a guy breaks down like this:






However, with girls, this simple act of hanging out or talking to girls takes on a whole different tone. But before I go into that, I have some insurance to confidently....expectantly.....hopefully save my exit route. Don't take me wrong, not all girls are like this. Hmmm perhaps I've hidden this vital and important message in a sea of text, let's define that more clearly.

I think that's a tad bit better (:

The situation described below is fine and usually welcomed in almost all situations. However, it is not welcomed in some situations where one's attention is directed towards an goal, say..in class, at work...etc etc. That's usually when it happens though, something that isn't supposed to happen always does. Some may say "But why do you even ask how they are when you're doing something?" I do that mainly because of common courtesy, I don't expect an extensive and long answer. Possibly it's my fault for asking, possibly not. Sometimes I even see girls telling other girls to be quiet at pay attention, which is odd, but funny....(and slightly distracting).

Yes yes, I know girls don't ALL wear their hair in a ponytail.



This points me in the direction of the next...sub-topic...when they don't answer at all.

Usually, when a girl doesn't answer a simple question such as "How are you?" something strange and mysterious happens. I'm going to try and define that "strange and mysterious thing" so bear with me here.. It all starts with that question..








And then silence. Pure and simple silence. Pure and scary silence. Silence may be golden, but there is a gun which is also golden..and it's killer. (9001 points if you get the reference). The uncomfortable stare (in the silence) which follows carries some meaning to it, I think. 





Watch this very closely...







Yes, those are lines. Actually, they're RED lines and that's the difference. Can you see them in real life? No. Why not? Because you can't see hate, can you? Let's go on to define these lines...



 


However, my fine comrades, I shall let you in on a little secret. There is but one escape from this situation...



I don't know why, but weather always seems to have the effect of distracting a person from trying to say what's on their mind. Also, it's an effective and pleasant way to start a conversation that could develop into something completely different. More on that....never. Hahaha. However again, sometimes the female counterpart may be unfazed at your amazing abilities to change topic and move from this icky position. Once again, I shall save you time, effort, money and possibly a couple coupons but giving you this quick and effective secondary escape route*.


*Does not work like a escape rope, spinning doesn't help anyone.


1. Point in an opposite direction and yell something random.

2. Run away at full speed while you think she's looking the other way.
3. No where on Earth can save you, give up hope, and say sorry
....even though you didn't do anything wrong. (:

Thursday, November 4, 2010

FAQ -1-

No time and new posts, let's get this underway! I'm not going to say sorry, but I believe I should be accountable for why I haven't posted in a while. (October 16th?? really??) Simple reason: University. There are midterms, test and assignments, we're running at optimum speed, so that means I have to dedicate optimum time to my studies. I've started a new section, one that runs concurrently with my other posts, the only main difference is that I'm going to try and post one or two of them every month, and they they don't have a "Life Lesson". It's labeled FAQ for...oh yeah, I guess you'll find out sure enough. RAISE THE CURTAINS!


You owe me a google search.



Interesting fact: They're called Lolipop Men in the Oceanic area. Who knew?

Where not to begin; the awkwardness, the uncomfortable-ness, the stranger-ness?

I'm pretty sure everyone knows what a crossing guard is, right? A crossing guard is usually an old elder person who helps people across the street. They hold a giant STOP, or in my case HALT! sign. I have no clue where they originated from, but I think it was something similar to the scene depicted below.




I'm pretty sure it was around the time in the "Wild, wild West". When they realized that tumbleweeds were becoming an endangered species. A person in each town was designated to make sure that they didn't get damaged in Gunfights or trampled during chariot races...they had those, right? Maybe I shouldn't have watched Ben Hur yesterday.


Anyways, I'm sure they soon enough realized that children, although less valuable than tumbleweed, also needed protection from said dangers. That and they also needed more people to be crossing guards.





And thus, the first (human) crossing guard was invented. After that, crossing guards became much more useful in society as car technologies were developed. Because of the pedestrian-car collision rate, crossing guards were placed in strategic areas to prevent the number of deaths. However, around the late eighteen hundreds, the first pedestrian crossing signals were developed and slowly the crossing guard legions were phased out. They didn't like this so they brought some new equipment to the field to show up the crossing signals up.



Safety Vest, Lawn Chair, and GIANT STOP SIGN.

Even with the power granted by the all powerful "Lawn Chair" the crossing signals still won due to the fact that they don't feel cold and aren't human..



Or so we thought.


 
Recently throughout the streets of Toronto, I've been witnessing a supernatural event. There are crossing guards, at busy intersections. And yes, you read that properly.  "But E, why would they do that?!" You ask. My answer: I really don't have one. I thought that busy intersections have crossing signals for pedestrians already. And they do, HOWEVER they are still there. I think the choice of method of crossing the street is already apparent when, in fact,  you want to cross the street:

Any interaction with ANY machine will NEVER be awkward. Ever.
But then again, there are those S*-people who like to have a conversation while crossing the road. -cough-. I don't get it: they have to get up every few minutes, they are outdoors all day, they do the job concurrently with the traffic signals, you get to talk with them for a total of SEVEN seconds, and that's it. Don't get me wrong though; crossing guards have greatly improved pedestrian safety, and are still commonly seen in school areas without traffic signals. But in highly populated and already organized areas, I really don't understand why they are there.

Nevertheless, it doesn't matter: Soon enough the crossing guards will have competition. Although this will take another form of competition....

This post was sponsored by the new H4.

And with this form of competition, crossing guards will be eradicated once and for all, they will never be around for us to see, ever again! -evil cackle-


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Or so I thought.
 



Have a good week and I hope you enjoyed the post!