Asian Tricks

Games usually and constantly involve winning, and losing. I think the primary difference between the winner and loser (aside from rank) is that one is better at tricking the other. I think it can also be stated that romance is a game, one played very close to the heart. (See what I did there?) Anyways, I don't want to ruin the point of this post (misleading title...or is it?) So let's push onto the 'drawings', if they are even worthy to be called that.

The other people have eyes too, I was just to lazy to draw them in.

 This is a lecture hall, and those circles are people. It's really intimidating at first, but it fills up so fast it's practically impossible to hesitate. Normally I go for empty seats, but today I felt a little bit confident. So I spotted a seat in between two girls and went for it.

Target: Locked on.
Status: Still empty.
Feet: Sprinting.

I NEVER have done this before, but I actually started talking to one girl besides me. She was of oriental decent, and turned out to be in first year such as myself. "It's fairly easy to talk to a girl, all you have to do is fool yourself into thinking that you're good looking" It turned out that this girl was alone in this class. Sticking with standard topics (prof. weather etc) we had a semi-interesting conversation. What's really awkward is when you're talking to her and she's paying attention to the Prof or Vice-versa, and then you don't pay attention to what the other person is saying. Also; time flies when you're talking to a girl. After class she handed me her name and email (yes! FB time!)

YES! VICTORY! WINNER! OMG OMG OMGG

This small torn off piece of paper meant more to me than life itself! (Actually I typed it on my phone so it didn't mean that much bu-hey! back to the story)

I'll never forget the moment *sniff sniff*

 I sped home (after chilling with my one friend) to add this girl to my FB and was so blissful that I was unaware that I was walking on stairs lol. Determined to add her, I flew up the stairs. Literally.

Not even running, I was flying.

Quickly turning on my computer (windows 7 represent) I instantaneously typed her name into the search box. And quickly spotted her from her display picture.

I'm not going to lie, but like most guys, we look (and judge) on your display picture. If there is a guy in the display picture we are ultimately destroyed, as we know there can be no relationship between us. This is where it get's interesting. She said she was in first year right? So normally you would think that would mean that she is your age, right? WRONG. 

Depression; now in number format. Sigh.

I can firmly say that all of us listen to the un-written social norms of our society. Those that do not can be easily identified, and murdered alienated remembered. I'm also fairly certain that no matter what culture, the female in a relationship should be younger than the male. Why? Probably because the male can take care of the woman and is (hopefully) more established. I would go into stuff about hormones, but I guess I'll save that for another time. But this is the asian trick. 

It's near impossible to tell their age.

Which is also a good thing because they always retain their youth. However, it's horrible if you find out they're older. My spirits were crushed when I found this out, I honestly thought that someone(god?) planned this out from the beginning just to teach me not to rush into anything. Lesson learned, but kinda harsh. This final scene depicts exactly what I felt like. 

Spite: them mystical clouds have it.

Life Lesson: Do not rush into things and never guess an Asian girl's age.

p.s. this happened again to me today (Wed/Oct/6/2010) fml.

Toronto's infamous "Sorry Syndrome"

Many people know this by now, if not, then welcome to new knowledge. Toronto is a place of multiculturalism, you will never see a location in Toronto comprised of one race. However cool and awesome this is, much confusion arises by having so many races. I think the most evident one is saying "sorry". When being brought up, "sorry" is incorporated into our vocab so much that practically every baby's second word is "sorry". Are we truly sorry? No. Do we want to be polite? Damn right we do, we don't want to cause ANY offense.

The cool way of saying "sorry"

The CN tower, for location reference LOL

Sometimes it gets too much. Especially when it gets to the point that I start saying sorry for things I'm not really sorry for. I don't like lying, and when I do this I feel like I'm lying. It gets especially awkward when you're in other countries and you continually say sorry. This happened to me in Italy.

I was walking down the narrow cobble stone streets of Rome, when I awkwardly sped in front of this guy. It was like when there is a ton of people coming your way, and you decide to either step to the side, or just walk straight. I chose the latter of the choices. Wrong move. Lol. So (stupidly) I decided to apologize.

Notice the absence of stereotypical chest hair and greasy head hair.

I was at a loss for words. What was I sorry for? Why did he say that? WHO AM I?

This is how my "great response" part of my brain works. 

Oh wait.

Apparently I don't have that part in my brain.

When I receive no response from a person, I automatically assume the worst. My ass is going to get kicked very soon. Although I think I can defend myself pretty well (go ego go!) it's not something that I want to ever happen. So I decide to do the weirdest thing I've done in my life, and the best part is; I have no clue why I did it.

No, those are NOT black laser beams.

The (now) classic:

(Burger franchise advertisement man voice)

'Walk away while maintaining eye contact' Move

Have you ever wanted a more awkward way of ending an encounter with a total stranger?

Try this move! It's sure to leave a "Total WTF" everlasting memory of the moment!"

Along with this new move, we'll also throw in the
'Once you're five meters away, turn around and run'

Worst, most awkward situation I have yet to be in, with a guy. Not even 'awkward turtle'* could save me then. I don't know what happened to the guy, maybe he was just as confused as I was even though that's impossible because there is no one that can be confused as I.

Life Lesson: Get in shape, you never know when you'll need to run.

* Awkward turtle is to be defined at a later time